The Monkey Was Murdered

Well here it is, November 27, 2018, and I think it is a Tuesday. — I haven’t looked at a calendar yet. — I have decided to turn this originally politically-oriented blog into something more like a personal diary because I know (from experience) that there are people out there in the wider world who are more interested in personal details than they are in political ramblings. — In order for this to work out, I am going to have to develop an audience of “Fans” as it were and maybe it can be done because I am colorful enough and eccentric enough that it might just work.

I laid awake a lot of the night last night because my nasal passages tend to swell after dark and I sleep for a while and then I have to get up out of the bed and use a nasal spray or apply some mentholated salve to my upper lip to open those passages up again. So what happens is I sleep for a couple of hours and then pop awake and then medicate myself and then go back to bed and sleep for another hour or so before having to do it all over again. — Part of the problem is allergies. — I do take an allergy medicine that was prescribed by my doctor. — But I am usually rested and refreshed in the morning, so perhaps all this nonsense isn’t all that threatening to my overall health after all.

I bought some ground flax seed at the grocery yesterday and I will add Three tablespoons per day of it into my oatmeal, soups, stews, whatever. — My doctor told me a long time ago that I should add flaxseed into my daily diet and I did it for a long time and then somehow managed to forget about it. — I also tried Chia seeds at one time, but the flax seems to work better for me. — Now understand that when I talk about these kinds of things that I do for myself I am not, in any way, shape, fashion or form, suggesting or recommending that you or anybody else go out and try the things that I talk about doing for myself. In fact, if you plan to make any changes at all to your ordinary daily routines, you definitely need to talk them over with your personal physician. I repeat: do not copycat anything that I talk about on this blog.

Did you know that when you write something on a blog that people usually tend to limit the amount of your writing that they actually read to 28 percent? — That means that if you write a thrilling online novelette of One Thousand words, probably all that is going to get read of it is less than 30 percent or One word out of three that you have written. In my mind, this is justification for writing extremely short articles and posts so following is a condensed murder mystery that you might enjoy and that you might actually get through:

“Death On The Driveway”
A Murder Mystery By Who Goosed The Moose

Monty was a full monty who owned a monkey named Mortimer. Both loved to lie naked on the hot pavement of the driveway connected to their palatial mansion in the bayous of Louisiana. They were friends but they never had sex with one another. One day Mortimer was found dead in the tall swamp grass near the driveway. He had been murdered. The cops thought that Monty had done it. It was later discovered that an alligator had done it.” — The alligator was tried, convicted and sent to Mexico. (The End).

If you read 31 words of that murder mystery you are in company with the average reader on the Internet. — If you got through the whole thing, then you are far above the norm and were probably entertained. (I am very entertaining. Just ask me and I will confirm it to you.).

 

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