The Fat Menagerie

From The Editor’s Desk

My stupid doctor insists that I must absolutely lose 8-inches from around my waist or I will probably die! —- I am 80-years-old and more or less muscle bound in the waist area and there is no way I am going to lose 8 inches from that area. —- I go around watching other people and you simply would not believe the number of other men I see out there where are not only 40 or more inches around the waist but who are more likely to be 60 or more inches around their waists. —- They don’t seem to be any worse for the wear.

I told my doctor that I will work on losing weight but he got all paranoid and belligerent and informed me that he doesn’t care whether I lose weight or not … it is not losing weight that he is obsessed with right now …. he is obsessed with me getting from my present 43-inch waist down to a 35 — and like I said, “I cannot see the possibility of that ever happening again in my lifetime.”

By the way, folks, this is an ageing Veterans’ Administration doctor that I am talking about here. This is the one who told me during my last visit that I was headed for a stroke and he didn’t care! —- If you are a veteran and you are reading this, I hope you are doing a lot better with your primary care physician than I am with mine. Maybe yours is somewhat sane anyway.

The mid-term elections are over in America now and people are breathing a sigh of relief. This one has been nerve-jangling and finger-biting and the airwaves have been virtually clogged with campaign advertising to the point that it over-saturated me and made me start to detest the very thought of electioneering.

But what people are failing to understand, I am afraid, is that now that the mid-terms for 2018 are over, the campaigning for the 2020 Presidential election will soon (too soon) get into full swing and we will have the same old media grind of endless screaming, accusing, negative advertising to contend with once again …. for two or more years …. non-stop … around the clock ….No peace to be found anywhere except in the mechanics of the human wrist that is capable of turning knobs and pressing buttons to turn the noise off ….. for a little while.